Adventures in Fake World!
by SpacePirate Khan
Summary: [PG for Violent Stuff] = [Dib is grounded, and pulls out an old VR game he'd gotten for his birthday that year to entertain himself.]
1. Day One: A Demon named Zim

Disclaimer:  
If you need ME to tell you I don't own Invader Zim,  
... I pity thee.  
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-Ignore the ---- things, they acquite proper spacing  
on FF.Net. I learned that myself. Aren't I smart?  
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-If you didn't bother reading the Summary, GO BACK  
AND DO IT MAN!!  
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------[Adventures in Fake World]  
------[Adventure Day One]  
------[A Demon Named Zim]  
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-  
------Dib couldn't believe it. Him, grounded.  
All for a little accident like causing a chain reaction  
that destroyed decades of dedicated research. The  
paranormal-investigator, who was now about 16, reached  
under his bed and pulled out a box that said "Fake World; the  
VR-RPG," pulling out a shaded visor, some gloves and several  
other things before turning a switch on at the Visor.  
-  
-----Fake World was the newest craze that had swept the Earth.  
And it was the one thing that kept Dib from slipping into insanity while  
Zim was likely plotting world domination behind his back..  
-  
-----"Input Username," an automated voice called from  
the visor. "Dib."  
-----"Verify password."  
-----"Aliens."  
-----"Password accepted. Logging in....."  
-  
-----Elevator music played for a while.  
-  
-----".. Welcome to Fake World."  
-  
------In Fake World, Dib's Avatar took form,  
which looked like a mature, more menacing  
and more muscular Dib, trenchcoat, cowlick  
and all.  
-  
------And, the first place he went to was, of coarse, the  
Alien Arena where you fought monsters to gain exp, and  
sometimes other players. It looked like a Greek colliseum,  
with stands of other Users watching the fight. Dib walked into  
one of the many doors that lead to the arena and stood in line.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
------After thirty minutes or so, he was at the door and could see  
everything going on in the arena. The announcers had continuously  
talked about a "fierce, demonic warrior" the past half hour; this must  
be him.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-------In the arena, two men stood facing eachother. The first, the  
normal looking one, had tan skin, long black hair and red, spiked  
armor, swinging a battle-axe to and fro. His foe merely stood confidently,  
crossing his arms; He was atleast six and a half feet tall, and was enshrouded  
in shadow; his skin was shadow-covered, all his clothes were black, and he  
wielded a long sword that emitted black flames. "Pch, he's not so tough looking."  
Dib said outloud. That was before the idiot warrior in red decided to start  
the assault.  
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-  
-  
--------The shaded warrior sprouted eight long slender black legs, resembling  
a spider now as he sidestepped away, using one of his now ten legs to trip the  
fighter. "Filthy stinkin' human.." the shadowy creature said with a cackle. Dib  
blinked. "That sounded awefully familiar.."  
-  
-------Before the fighter could get up, the shadowy warrior jabbed his sword  
down into the fighter, the avatar shattering into pixels as the crowd burst into  
applause. "Alright, kid, you're up next." a soldier said, shoving Dib through a  
doorway into a fighter's lounge, of sorts.  
-  
-  
-------Dib looked around and sat down at a table. A low-level ten year old  
Squire ran up to him. "Milord, can I announce ye? This place pays gold for  
it, you know." said the child.   
------"Yeah sure. Announce me as 'The Deliverer.'"  
------The boy looked at him with an odd look, before he realized who he  
stood before. "Oh, you're THAT guy." he said with a chuckle as he walked off.  
Dib looked at him, annoyed. "And what's THAT supposed to mean!?"  
-  
-  
-------Then, the shadowy figure walked in, his aura fading into green  
skin with a torn black trenchcoat with the sleeves ripped off, making  
it more of a cape than anything, with black clothes underneat. He stared  
at Dib with menacing red eyes. "You look familiar." they both said at once,  
before both shot glares at eachother. "Dib."  
-------"Zim!" Dib shouted out. "Argh, can't I go anywhere without  
having to see your ugly green face?"  
-------"I'd think this would be good sport for you, Dib. But don't  
take it too hard when I pulverize you." Zim said with a smirk as  
he dashed into a hallway, an odd looking figure following close behind;  
Dib couldn't make out any features of it, but before he could ponder  
any longer some guards came in and shoved him into the ring.  
-  
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-------"My lords, my ladies, and everyone else, I have the pleasure  
to announce to you, the brave knight who shall rid this colleseum of  
the wretched demon Zim, The Deliverer!"  
-  
------Dib walked into the ring. Boos called out, and he was hit  
with a virtual tomato. The warrior growled as he pulled out a long  
lance-like weapon and stepped towards the center.  
-  
-  
------Then, an odd-looking robotic squire walked in, with glowing  
red eyes and a menacing voice. "Let me announce once again,  
human slaves," it said in a deep booming voice, before it's eyes  
turned turquoise and it's voice to that of an imbecile's, "Master  
Demon Invader Person Zimmie, who will... uh...  
Beat up the guy with the really big head!" The little robot then  
began shaking it's tin hiney and dancing oddly while going  
"Doo-doo-doo-doo-do-doo-doom!" over and over again.  
-  
------Dib growled as everyone roared in laughter. Zim walked into  
the ring, his shadowy aura regained. "Any last words before  
I inflict DOOM upon your pitiful human self?"  
-  
------"Yeah, duck." Dib said, swiping low at Zim's feet and tripping  
him with a smirk. "You talk too much."  
-  
-  
-------Zim growled, sprouting his virtual shadow spiderlike legs  
as he pulled out a twin-bladed shadowsword. Dib blinked.  
"Hey, where'd you get that? Those are supposed to be  
rare one-of-a-kind weapons only acquirable by--"  
-  
------Before he could finish, Zim slammed him over the head twice  
with the flats of his twinsword and crouched down low with  
a cackle. "I've been on this game longer than you think,  
pitiful Earth worm."  
-  
------Then, Zim began twirling his twinsword around like a  
buzzsaw as he leapt up into the air, his shadowy form eclipsing  
the simulated sun. Dib stared up at him. "Computer, status of  
user Zim!" Dib said, knowing - well, hoping - that Zim would  
be uncreative enough to use his own name.   
------"Match found."   
-  
------Red transluscent letters filled his eyes, showing a picture  
of Zim and his current statistics..  
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Username: Zim  
Level: 192  
Weaopn: Eternus Delitio  
Detailed statistic unaccessable due to  
"scan blocking" unit.  
-  
-  
--------"Aahh!" Dib yelled, rolling to the side as the blades,  
and Zim, slammed into the ground. Zim took stance once  
more, a cruel smirk crossing his face as Dib jumped up,  
a look of horror in the young paranormal investigator's face.  
"I see you've read my work." Zim said, holding his blade up  
above his head and spinning it around. "Allow me to  
show you how I acquired my ranking."   
-  
----(Insert dramatic orchistral strings music with  
gothic chanting and a bit of hard rock essense)  
-  
------The entire arena quaked as Zim began his  
spell, chanting words in an odd language, hundreds of  
other voices harmonizing with his chants seemingly though  
no source of the other voices could be found.   
-  
------"Wh.. What the heck is that!?"  
-  
-----Zim slowly rose into the air, a pillar of pure shadow  
enveloping his form and growing wider. Dib yelled in  
panic and ran towards the outer edges of the arena as  
the pillar of darkness extended to fill half the middle of the  
battle grounds. Then, as quickly as it came, everything  
stopped. The chanting. The quaking. The vortex of pure  
evil. And Zim.  
-  
-  
------Dib staggared over to where Zim's sword  
stood, half-buried into the ground. He reached to  
pick it up, but it fell over with a gust of wind,  
revealing half a sword. "Oh, crap."   
-  
------As soon as the words had left his mouth,  
he felt a sharp blow to the back of his neck,  
sending him slamming into the wall of the arena  
as Zim held up his sword, the other half changing  
into shadowy smoke and enveloping the other half,  
forming the whole twin-sword once more.  
-  
-------"Stupid, pathetic, filthy stinkbeast." Zim said  
with a chuckle; the spiderlike legs had been replaced  
by demonic wings, his hands and feet replaced by  
claws, his legs reverse-joined as a raptor's. He was  
twice as big and each step he took shook the ground a  
bit and stirred up the dust below him. Dib sat up.  
-  
-----"I may be new here but I can still hold my own!  
For it is true skill that matters, not levels or ranks!" Dib  
said heroically as he took stance. Dib smirked. "Yes,  
you are right, Dib. But sadly for you, Human, I excell  
in all of these categories." And in an instant, Zim disappeared,  
reappearing behind Dib at lightning speed, grabbing him and  
leaping into the air, before coming down and piledriving him into  
the dirt. Dib gasped, the air being slammed out of him as  
Zim cackled merrily. "What's wrong, Dib? Where's that  
Skill you were talking about, hmm?"  
-  
-  
------Zim swiftly slid his foot under Dib and tossed him up  
into the air, then did a roundhouse kick into Dib's head,  
slamming him into the opposite wall. Then before "the dib"  
could react, or even catch his breath, Zim smashed his feet  
into Dib, slamming him into the wall and finishing the combo,  
depleting all but a tiny fragment of Dib's Hp.  
-  
------"Would you like me to stop being easy on you?" Zim  
said with a sadistic grin. Dib panted, hardly able to stand. He  
pulled out an herb and ate it quickly as his health was restored,  
and a boost of energy coarsed through his veins. Then without  
hesitation Dib thrust his lance at Zim's stomache. Zim cackled as  
he grabbed the tip of the lance, holding it hard while thrusting his  
foot into the center of it. The lance shattered, showering splinters  
of steel every which way. "Guess they just don't make lances  
like they used to." Zim said casually. Dib growled and pulled up  
a gun, which Zim merely glared at, causing it to explode with telekenetic  
force.   
-  
-----"As much as I like humiliating you, Dib, I'm bored." Zim said.  
He snapped his fingers as a swirling vortex of darkness rose around  
Dib, blasting him into the air, his avatar shattering into pixels as the  
crowd uproared in applause.  
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------"Curses!" Dib yelled in his room, yanking the visor off and  
tossing it to the ground in frustration.  
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-----A/N: More than just Dib/Zim rivalry coming  
in the next chapter! = ) Romance will come! Expect it!  
And, well, what can I say? If you like it, REVIEW FOR  
THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CHEESEY AND GOOD!  
Or I'll sick GIR on you. His stupidity will destroy you all! 


	2. Day Two: Alexandria the Summoner

Disclaimer:  
"... refer to chapter one."  
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---Author's Note:  
"Ok, I am VERY ticked off..  
It sickens me - repulses me, even - that  
I was asked if this was a slash fic. I mean,  
for crying out loud!! It's like you can't even  
say the word "Romance" in this category  
anymore because a bunch of messed up  
writers wrote sick slash fics and ruined it all..  
Anything to do with those kind of stories should  
meet a gruesome, agonizing death in my opinion....  
On a lighter note, Zim will get his butt kicked today.  
As will anyone else who didn't read this author's note...  
Flames are accepted without ridicule just so long as you  
are educated about your insults."  
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------[Adventures in Fake World]  
------[Adventure Day Two]  
------[Alexandria the Summoner]  
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----------Dib pulled up his visor (yes, he's the main  
character in this fic. And no, he's not part of the pairing.  
He gets to be a lonely little bigheaded dude the rest of  
his life. Hahahaahh!) and logged into Fake World once  
again. He'd only gained a single level after hours  
of play...   
-  
-  
--------The paranormal investigator walked to  
the Message Boards to check if his alien topics  
had gotten any replies (to which, they hadn't).  
He did notice a new topic that caught his eye,  
however;  
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"Rare Item Rewarded! Click for details!"  
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-------"Computer, access topic." Dib said,  
staring at the message. His view was filled  
with red letters.   
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"An illegal user known to many as   
Bob the Glitch has been terrorizing  
the online community of Fake World.  
If he is not stopped, he will single-handedly  
destroy the entire community and your  
character data bit by bit. A major reward  
is being offered to whomever slays this  
character. However, users must have a  
spotless record and must have atleast one  
month of experience to apply. Meet at  
the AHQ."  
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-  
-  
-------Dib had been playing for exactly  
a month, luckily for him; He did wonder why  
such was needed, but decided just to take the  
job as he dashed towards the Administration  
HQ.  
-  
-  
-----When he got into the waiting room, only  
two others stood before him. The first, he could  
safely say he'd never seen in his life. She was  
a sorceress in a long flowing black gown with  
red trimming, and a long black staff with a smokey  
crystal at the tip emitting a faint mystical glow. She  
had cold, grey eyes, he quickly noted as she glared  
in his direction with a scoff.  
-  
--------Then it was his turn to glare as he  
noticed the second User who had applied for  
the job, who was in his usual black sleeveless  
trenchcoat/cape that had come to be his own  
in the world of Fake World. "Zim.." Dib muttered  
under his breath. "Why can't I go anywhere  
without bumping into you!?"  
-  
-------"Silence, earth creature." Zim said as  
a midget robot waddled up with blue eyes, drinking  
a virtual soda. "Seeing as you are too weak  
and pitiful, you won't be forced to see the glory  
that is my power for long."  
-  
-------The woman laughed at Zim's comment.  
".. What's so funny!?" Zim demanded to know. The  
woman stifled her laugh and stared at him as if  
he amused her.   
--------"My name is Alexandria." said the red  
haired woman, "And my skills are unparalelled."  
-  
------"Computer, scan user Alexandria.." Dib  
said under his breath. Red letters filled his  
sight.  
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Username: Alexandria  
Level: 232  
Weapon: Dea Baculum  
Detailed statistic unaccessable due to  
"scan blocking" unit.  
-  
-  
------"Does everyone have a scan blocking  
unit around here or something?" Dib muttered  
agrivatedly. "Computer, information on weapons  
Eternus Delitio and Dea Baculum." Dib said,  
curios as to what Zim and Alexandria's weapons  
really possessed. More red letters flashed  
in front of his eyes as the other two merely argued  
about who was the strongest.  
-  
-  
Weapon: Eternus Delitio  
Detailed: "The blade of Chaos; it is said  
the soul of Dalek the Obliterator is sealed within  
this sword, along with all of his powers. One  
of the seven Deity Weapons."  
-  
Weapon: Dea Baculum  
Detailed: "The rod of summoning; it gives  
the user power to summon goddesses and  
sorcerors to fight for them. One of the  
seven Deity Weapons."  
-  
-  
------Dib growled. The Deity Weapons.. that  
special side quest was supposed to be  
impossible! And yet his own arch rival and  
some deadbeat he didn't even know both freely  
walked around with such treasures!  
-  
------"How did you people get those weapons!?" Dib  
shouted, accidentally thinking outloud. He realized his  
mistake and looked highly embarrassed as Alexandria  
scoffed, "Newbie."  
-  
--------"I infiltrated the Shrine of Chaos, where the  
Ancients sealed Dalek the Obliterator years ago in  
this realm's history. Deep inside of the heavily infested  
dungeon was an ancient Guardian sent to make sure  
Dalek's power was never used again. Unfortunately,  
that Guardian met with a little.. accident, and the blade  
chose me as its master." Zim said, quite proud of himself.  
-  
------"Child's play." Alexandria said. "To earn this  
staff I had to fight every goddess, sorceror and monster  
summonable, even the really tough ones like Eden and  
Bahamutt. Then, and only then did the Magus Sisters  
give me permission to use a powerful weapon such as  
this... Wait a minute, Zim.. in the Eternus Delitio side quest,  
weren't you supposed to prove your nobility by helping  
that Guardian slay Dalek so the blade would be unpossessed  
and safe to use?"  
-  
-------Zim blinked. "Yes, well.. um.. I.. did it intentionally  
to keep this almighty weapon from being stripped of it's power!"  
-  
-  
-------Just then, a chubby dude walked in. "The  
Administrator Marin will see you now." he said with  
a bow as he led the three warriors into a dark room.  
After about three minutes of silence, the room lit up with  
flames as a huge monster began attacking the team.  
-  
-  
-  
--------Alexandria stood back and began chanting  
really fast. "... WHY IS SHE JUST STANDING THERE!?"  
Dib shouted as he was almost enshrouded by the  
monster dragon's fire breath. The room lit up bright enough  
to see the black-scaled dragon now, which was actually  
a horrible three-headed monstrosity, each one shooting  
a different element. Zim growled at Dib's stupidity.  
"She is summoning you fool! We must guard her with  
our lives or we won't stand a chance against this fiend!"  
-  
-------"But aren't you--"  
-------"Yes, I have one of the strongest weapons in  
Fake World, but don't you know what this is you imbecile?"  
-------"Uh.. a dragon. They're resistant to magic."  
-------"No. It's a Hydra. Physical attacks are worthless you  
pitiful human child. Only a goddess could silence this beast,  
and only Alexandria can summon one."  
-  
-  
-------Dib finally understood and played along, but was rather  
useless. Zim put a barrier of shadow around them all, blocking  
off all of the dragon's assaults. "... NOW!" Alexandria shouted.  
Zim snapped his fingers, the barrier shattering as the room was  
lit up by a flash of blue light and filled with a bone-chilling breeze.  
A large ice crystal fell to the ground as a transparent woman  
slowly desended into it. She opened her eyes as she faded in,  
icey blue skin and all as the ice around her shattered. Then she  
began twirling, causing large ice spikes to jab through the bottom  
of the floor and into the monster's feet, pinning it to the ground. Then  
the whole room around the monster was covered in such spikes.  
Then three large spikes shot up, stabbing each of the monster's  
brains. "Now, Shiva, finish them!" Alexandria shouted. The goddess  
of ice nodded and cooly snapped her fingers as all the ice shattered  
into a whirlwind of death, ripping the dragon to shreds and shattering  
it to pixels in an instant.  
-  
-  
-  
--------"Yes! We saved the AHQ!" Dib shouted.   
-  
--------"Test complete." an automated voice said, much to the heroes'  
confusion as Marin the Administrator walked into the room, with flowing  
pink hair and a long white Cleric's dress. "You three make an excellent  
fighting team. The Administration thanks you for your hard work." She clapped  
her hands and in a gust of wind, the trio had been teleported to an unescapable  
dungeon. "... Great, we're stuck together!!" Dib shouted. "I wanted to do this  
by myself!!"  
--------"The Administration doesn't send people like us in for no reason." Zim  
said with a smirk. "Besides.. don't you recognize this place?"  
-  
--------Dib looked around. Alexandria nodded. "The Spirit Shrine.. where  
one of the Deity Weapons lies rest."  
-------Zim nodded. "It comes and goes with the wind, and only the strongest  
of warriors will ever get to gaze at it's splendor. And only the bravest dare  
to enter."  
-------Dib had read about this before.. ".. Hey, isn't this were the  
Deity Weapon, Spiritus Ferrum, is hidden?"  
-------"You catch on well for a newbie." Alexandria replied. "The Spiritus  
Ferrum is a blade I've longed for since my journey here.. and I seek to  
acquire every Deity Weapon. Some day yours will belong to me as well,  
Zim."  
--------"Over my cold dead body." Zim said with a smirk as he began  
walking down the halway. Alexandria followed, as did Dib soon   
afterwards. "Computer, information on weapon 'Spiritus Ferrum.'"  
Red words flashed across his visor, as did the time "Midnight" on  
the clock.  
-  
Weapon: Spiritus Ferrum  
Detailed: "The sword of the dead, this treasure has  
necromancing abilities beyond that of any other force.  
Can summon dead allies, monsters and spirits as zombies.  
One of the seven Deity Weapons."  
-  
--------"Hmm... I might like to own that one.." Dib said,  
but his thoughts were quickly halted as he heard cries of  
pain up ahead...  
-  
-  
-  
--------"Bob!" Zim said as they entered the room.  
There, in the middle of the room, stood a green-skinned  
warrior with black armor. In his hands stood a shining  
silver blade with symbols encrypted on the hilt and the  
blade itself. The Glitch stared at them icily, but before any  
fighting could begin, a pillar of light enveloped the fiend.  
And in an instant, Bob was no more.  
-  
-------The trio blinked as a silver armoured, blue  
haired man with white wings on his arms and back  
gracefully landed near the Spiritus Ferrum, picking it  
up and claiming it as his own.  
-  
--------"!! HEY!!" Alexandria shouted. "Bug off, you  
second-rate loser!"  
-  
-------The warrior glared at her coldly. "My name is  
Magus, the Necromancer. This blade is rightfully  
mine, as is it's powers. And when we meet again,  
don't you dare try to defy me." he said as he used  
an item to teleport out of the place. Then the trio looked  
around, and, grolwing, they logged off one by one.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-----Author's Note:   
Will Dib ever get one of the Deity Weapons?  
Who is this Magus guy?  
And for that matter, who is Alexandria? (as if you don't know)  
If you feel sorry for Dib, TOO BAD. He might  
just get his own Deity Weapon near the end of the  
fic however. 


End file.
